Are You a “Yes” Man (or Woman)?
There is a principle of improv that says in order to draw an audience into the drama, each actor must take a “Yes, And…” approach. If one actor says that it is a cold day and shivers, then all the other actors must join in and build on that to create a realistic scene, collaboratively, on-the-fly.
For example, in a scene you might be asked, “Do you sell fence posts?” A tempting response might be, “No,we don’t sell anything”. That might get a laugh, but it offers no new directions for the scene to go in and gives your partner nothing to work with.
So just say “Yes” and keep going by adding more concrete detail.
“Yessiree, I’ve got a cow-fence post here that even a 4,000-pound cow was unable to tip over.”
Now something is happening. That could trigger just about anything in your scene partner’s imagination.
“Oh, good! I’ve only got two 2000-pound cows, but they like to team up. Now let’s see, I’ve got them enclosed in half an acre…how many fence posts am I going to need?”
Now, in just two lines, we’ve gone from nothing to the beginnings of a plot.
This can work for you in your business, as well. Whether you are with your employee or a client, “Yes, And…” requires you to listen to what they are saying It gives you practice in valuing and respecting other people’s ideas, taking the time to acknowledge and find some value in each suggestion and opening yourself to other perspectives.
The alternative is “No, But” usually cloaked in a “Yeah, But” even though it’s really a “No, But.” We have been well trained to look for what doesn’t work; therefore, we typically respond to new ideas with “Yeah, But…” not even considering what may be of value in another person’s idea. In the long run, this has the effect of narrowing our world down to only our own ideas and ways of doing things.
Try this: The next time an employee or clients offers you an idea, respond by appreciating at least one aspect of what was offered.
- Use this phrase ‘What I like about your idea is…,” completing it with something you can honestly say you like about the idea.
- After offering your appreciation (which is the “Yes” step), you can say, “And…” Then, add your own idea. (If you really want to play full out, answer as if there are no restrictions whatsoever to limit your response. Budget, practicality, and the laws of physics do not exist.)
Watch what happens.
- What is your experience?
- What effect does this have on the both of you?
- Is it hard to find something you appreciated about your partner’s contributions?
- What effect might a “Yes and…” attitude have on your business relationships?
Here is your homework (for the rest of your life). Whenever you want to say “But…,” stop yourself and begin with “Yes, And…” instead. It might be hard at first to find common ground, and your conversations (and even negotiations) will be more successful if you remove the word “but” from your vocabulary and do your part to build a culture of “yes” in your business.
